Dear Rose,
It has been a while I have not write nor type on blank document. Well, not literally. I think I wrote more in these 4 months than in my whole life combine. But I haven't write anything from the heart nor my imagination. Everything I wrote lately, they were all from the head. Factual. Structured. Those are not the reasons why I fall in love with writing. I love when my head step out of the boxing ring and explore the world.
I know I've experience a lot of things lately but I feel lifeless. No, no, no. I feel soulless. Yes, I saw them but I didn't feel them. I feel like an Artificial Intelligence walking around and has the correct emotional sense. An Artificial Intelligence with no heart in its artificial heart.
Be myself. Don't let anyone get inside your head.
It is hard than you think. What if you accidentally let someone in, not just in your head, in your heart too. And it is too late for you to stop. You feel like you can't really do anything about the thing in your guts, you just let the feeling be what it is. And you just hope time will fade the butterflies in the stomach whenever you see the person.
I just wish he could see for himself and not up to me to let him see.
Meh... I am suck at this section.
I just want to feel.
Love,
Sarah.
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