I guess I was wrong...

Dear Rose, 

You know what I wanna do?

I just want to be in a corner of the room and just get lost in a book and block all the whole world out of my mind.

I may be like to be the center of an attention but I'm a loner at heart. 

Now I know why most creative persons are most loners because misery, loneliness, sadness could be the most beautiful art in the world. But they can't really beat 'love'.

I'm not saying that I'm 'that' creative but, I miss being creative.

I need to read more.

I once thought that being the girl who is in the 'in crowd' would be awesome. Go here and go there will gain my experiences while I'm still a teenager. But ooh I was wrong. Those activities would just sucked all my money and my soul.

I'm not saying that I don't like to hang out with my friends, I really do love them and love hang out with them but I don't know, I feel that I constantly try to impress them without the intention to impress them. I just automatically do it. Some people call it good deeds, some people said it just a show-off. But I don't feel like both, I just automatically do. Because that's what I am. I'm not doing it to show-off, I do it because I can do it and it is me. 

I just.... ugh... messed up with all these tiny tiny nano little problems floating in my head. I just want to let it out. Out of my head.

When I think again, all of these problems are stupid. But stupid or not stupid, they are still bugging me.

I feel like a poser by being me. 

Or I was being a poser before this, that's because I feel weird by doing all these stuff. 

I thought I've figured myself out. I thought I don't have any identity crisis anymore.

I guess I was wrong...

Love, 

Sarah