Dear Rose,
For these couple of days, I've been trying to get my writing mojo back. So far, it's not totally working. So, I take it step by step.
I was digging through my old notebooks to get some information on my old fanfictions. I want to finish them before the clock struck twelfth on 1st January 2011.
This morning I watched 'The Confession of the Shopaholic', and it got me to think about "What kind of a writer am I?"
Am I like Rebecca Bloomwood? Or am I like Betty Suarez? Do I fit into the column section or am I the story-writing kind of a girl? I watched That Gulliver’s-something the other night with my family. He travels, writes an article about them and gets paid! That’s awesome right? I want to try to make an article to every where I go from now on. That’s my assignment while I’m jobless at home. Maybe I’ll post it in here or I’ll make another blog or something. That might be awesome!
I want to see more of my ability to write. I'm quite fond of writing. I feel connected with the keyboard. They get me. I love how the words flow from my mind and signal them to my fingers and they magically express words in my head. Well, it’s not really magic, it’s called science!
I always want to record my thoughts. I always talk to myself in my head. If I can record my thoughts, I can turn them into a book! It would be REALLY, REALLY interesting book I may appear boring on the outside, but you can’t read my mind; if you can, you’ll think it otherwise. Like Catcher in the Rye Rye
Even though I'm outgoing, I'm originally a nerd. I like words, I loathe numbers. Words can describe anything. Words are powerful. You can easily believe a person if they perfectly choose their words.
My brothers always said lately, I'm a bitchy girl. Always in the group, chit-chatting about boys, criticizing. people. Well, lately yeah, I am. I'm just like every normal teenager with normal problems. But my brother saw through me. He knows I am not like the others. I am not 'normal' like them. I am an individual. I forgot about that lately. I am not unique anymore.
"Why are you not writing fanfics anymore?" my brother suddenly asked.
"Well, I have my own real social life now. Fanfics are just my fantasies. I'm normal now!" I said it proudly.
"A girl with a social life is normal. A girl with a social life WHO can write is a rarity. Do YOU want to be just like any other 'normal' person?" he said that and he went away.
And with that, it hit me. He got me to think about my passion about writing. I miss them. It's been a year I haven't write anything, a single story have not been type. Only a couple of plots have been written on my notebooks rather than a million of plots I’ve made when I was 15.
Back then, I was really proud of my uniqueness and creativity. Nobody I've known personally have the same personality like me. But lately, I've been chasing 'normal' life instead of being myself.
Be myself. J I miss those words.
I think I just found the answer I’ve been asking for the whole year.
Who am I?
Early through mid 2010, I am lost.
My emotional were unstable.
I lose my best friends, my loved ones were very distance, and honestly, I felt nobody loved me.\
But as the year went through, I know how loved I am. Thank you.
I wrote a post that I don’t know who I was.
But now, I know who I am.
I am a slobby girl, who likes to clean but in a few minutes, it get messy again. I love to read but I really have to concentrate on that only, it’s the same as my writing. No outside world when I’m writing mode. No internet unless I want to Google. I appreciate any kind of arts. I love to doodle. I love movies. I can have a movie marathon for the whole week! I hate horror movies. I love myth. I prefer silence over LOUD music. But if I’m in the cursing-people-mood, I put on Red Jumpsuit Apparatus and read. Who freaking listen to screamo while reading?! Haha. I am a fangirl. I crush easily. I’ve never been in love. I love my family and friends. I would do anything for them. I love clothes now. I appreciate fashion now. I speak meme. XP I am some kind of a nerd. But I don’t o well in school. I’m a pretty average student and I am aware of that. But I’m pretty good in leadership. I have stage fright but I LOVE anything to do with stage. Performance, plays, music, dances. But I can’t act, I can’t sing, I can’t dance. I can talk for hours if the topics interest me. I like to hang out with my friends. I’m shy, I’m loud, I’m really nice but I can be bitchy. I made plans but I’m more go-with-the-flow girl. I’ll try to make it work and reasons before I gave up. I want EVERY answer on what I am curious about. I do really well on last minutes. I do well when I’m stressed out. I love music. I love literature. I love arts.
Haha. Whoa, that’s like a resume or something!
You don’t want to read, it is okay. It’s just all about me anyways.
Well, my 2010 question of the year had been answered.
My 2011 question is, will anyone be in love that kind of a girl?
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