Something about myself.

Dear Rose,

I don't know why am I worry about 'Write something about yourself' rather than studying my butt's off for my SPM. I'm reading all of my friends' blogs and their chats, all about they don't like their midyear's results. And why I like my results so much?! My result are more worst than them. Why they worry that they are not going to finish their lesson and not me? Sometimes, I feel left behind because I am not like them. I do not strive for excellence, I just do the best that I can. I always the average one. I will do average even though I tried the best that I can. I just don't know what I can do anymore. I just have to keep move on.

But to proceed to the level, I have to work harder. Not for excellence, because excellence is beyond my reach. But I have to achieve above average. I can do that right? I'm not THAT dumb, I'm not THAT stupid. I'm just lazy. ugh. I just hate that personality of mine. :(

I sometimes wonder, why I want to search EXACTLY who am I rather than study for SPM. Only FOUR months left. Then, I can search for who I am. Stupid teenager's mind. :\

Or I could know who I am when I'm struggling for the big exams, who knows? So, I'm going to try. I know something about myself that I like to try something even for once only. I'm going to study for me. Not for anybody. For me oh and also for Allah and my parents. :)

Wish me luck!